Happy Friday the 13th! Now we understand – you are probably thinking “WOW! The CompanyCam office looks like the best place to work!” And we don’t blame you — we have fooled everyone! But we are coming clean — CoCam is actually a terrifying place to work. And to prove it, we made this list for you.
13 scary facts about the CompanyCam office:
- For starters, the letter board in the lounge changes mysteriously. And it is supposed to be uplifting, and yet currently says, “Grow Up, Show Up, Fuck Off.” How classy.
- Amidst the coronavirus outbreak, CoCam has encouraged its employees to wash their hands to a 20-second chorus. Needless to say, Lizzo’s “baby how you feeling? feeling good as hell” coming from the male bathroom is frightening.
- Nick Small before coffee in the morning — yikes!
- The elevator up to the office is rickety, wobbly, and screechy. Ultimately, it will kill us all one of these days.
- Luke’s ever-evolving facial hair. He goes from having a beard to clean-shaven, back to having a beard, to then a scruffy mustache! Pretty sure it’s in sync with the cycle of the moon. It is extremely hard for us non-werewolf folk to keep up.
- Our PlantFam death rate is through the roof. But we will own it. We kill plants. on. the. daily.
- The number of snacks Micki sees Jeff steal from the break room.
- King of office whistling, Caleb’s tunes can be heard throughout the building… even when he is OOO.
- The Old Chicago beneath us is RIP. We didn’t even get to say goodbye. We have NO closure.
- Gerty is a runner. But not for fun. Nor for exercise or meditation. He is most definitely preparing for the apocalypse. It is coming and he will be the only one prepared!
- We have sold our soul to Papa John’s. Catch us (almost) every Friday devouring pizza — well everyone but Bruna, cause it is “too unhealthy” for him… who does he think he is?!
- One may think the marketing department keeps its lights off to save energy. But need I remind you of their fear of garlic, pale skin, and pointy teeth. You can put two and two together.
- An unopened beer CANNOT last longer than 2 days in the office. But food will linger in the fridge for weeks. “Like for weeks and weeks and weeks” — LC
So like we said: pretty terrifying. Happy Friday the 13th!
